So you said YES! Or if you’re the guy, you finally asked her! You’ve found Mr. Right (or Mrs. Right) so everything from here on out should be happy, extreme marital bliss. Right!? Well to ensure your “I do’s” don’t turn into “I sue’s” there is one thing you can do!
I slid the rock on my finger just recently, so I’ve been hearing how the first couple years of marriage can be challenging with all of the adjustments. Let’s face it, as much as you’d love to be one big bundle of happiness, there will be some bumps in the road. Think about it…you’re sharing everything about you with another person. There are unchartered territories to overcome— sharing your space, having much less free time for just you AND still trying to understand why he shoves his dirty clothes in any available crevice. Surviving this transition can be a lot easier if you find out beforehand where you stand financially.
Marriage is a financial partnership in addition to the tying of your hearts and minds. For better or worse, money is a “stressor” and catalyst for divorce down the road for many couples. While personal finances aren’t the most romantic thing to discuss while planning a wedding or even when thinking about engagement—I am finding out—it is a must “before and after” the big day. By knowing exactly where you stand on financial issues and goals, you’ll be taking the first steps in avoiding conflicts and arguments during your marriage.
Initially even I was thinking, “This will be great—two people and one house means double the income and more spending!” I didn’t think about how it will also be double the debt! The light clicked on and things such as joint checking, consolidating loans and investments, titling of assets, changing beneficiaries, insurance and much more starting weighing in on my mind. Not only is the merging of finances important but coming to an agreement on how to manage them is even more important. You might have noticed that your beloved is sometimes more careless with their spending habits than you are, or more tight. Or, one of you could just be really bad at math! Don’t keep anything from each other, even if it’s just those one-a-day $5 lattes you love! Find out everything about one another financially…talk, talk, talk! How much debt do each of you have—student loans, car loans, credit cards? Do you go out to eat every day because you don’t like to cook? Are you an impulsive shoe buyer? Do either of you have a monthly budget set right now? And how did you pay for my ring!? These are all things to talk about when you make the promise “for richer or for poorer.”
It is common for one person to come into the marriage with a lot of savings and the other with more debt. Before you can make any major financial decisions you should know how much you own and owe as a couple. Remember what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours. Knowing this right away will make it easier when creating short-term goals (paying off wedding debt, cars, vacations, student loans) and long-term goals (purchasing of a home, having children, retirement). Then set out to achieve your goals by balancing your differences and creating a budget. Set aside time each week to go over your spending and income. The more you communicate and plan the better off you will be when unexpected or expected expenses come along.
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